Category Archives: Marriage

Education is the Answer

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….AND our relationships!

EDUCATION MATTERS WHEN IT COMES TO ADHD

Education is not just for school or job advancement. It is absolutely critical to everyday life. Through conversations in my everyday life, books, YouTube videos, websites, documentaries, I learn new things every day.

When you or someone in your home struggles with ADHD, it is up to all parties involved to become part of the solution instead of remaining part of the problem. And in most situations, it will have to start with the person or people who DON’T have the disorder. No matter what you believe about ADHD, I am telling you that it is physically, mentally, and emotionally outside of the realm of possibility for the person who had ADHD. It isn’t a matter of unwillingness, but in a lot of cases not being aware.

RESOURCES

One book I found very useful when I first started to realize that this was my issue was “Driven from Distraction” by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey. It is very insightful. Another suggestion I have for you is to find someone else who is also living with ADHD, but from the opposite side from where you are. If you HAVE it find someone else who is LIVING with someone who has it, and visa versa. I have had the opportunity to interact with two people so far in exactly that capacity. I have been told by both that it helped them a lot to hear me explain what it was like to suffer from it. And it did help me to hear from them as well.

BOTH SIDES SUMMARIZED

For the person afflicted, it can be extremely frustrating and very often depressing. (ADHD Is Not My Fault — But It Still Makes Me Feel Like a Failure) They are most likely down on themselves a great deal of time because they feel like there is something wrong with them. This is exacerbated but the fact that those around them are also frustrated with them. It is a double whammy. They are desperate to fix it but they feel utterly helpless to do so. They often build up resentment toward others for being completely unsympathetic, cold, and judgmental.

The person living with the afflicted see the ADHD sufferer as lazy, disorganized and often narcissistic. They are frustrated that they are constantly having to pick up the pieces and do more of the work because they are getting very little help. The too, often grow to resent the other person for all of these thing.

MAKING IT BETTER

The solution is for YOU to start educating yourself as much as possible. And by you I mean whomever is reading this article. Whichever side of this issue you are on, you are the one who cares enough to be seeking information. YOU need to be the first one to break the cycle.  Nothing will change without someone taking the first step to bring education to the situation.

In the Middle of a Storm

Lighthouse in the StormLighthouse in the Middle of the Storm

We actually never know what is going to happen next in life. But we usually have a pretty good idea. Right now, I am writing this blog entry from a place of personal destitution. I am in the middle of a storm and I can’t see anything up ahead accept a very bright light from the top of a Lighthouse. God is in control. I have to keep my focus on that light and eventually the storm will clear.

In a matter of just a few hours, everything went from normal to a complete blackout in my life. I am sure you have been here before. I am feeling lost, discouraged, empty, and pretty much worthless.

For anyone who has ever felt this way before, or maybe you feel this way right now, I want you to know something. There is a greater purpose for your life than what is happening at this moment.

The Storm that Almost Swallowed Me Whole

I remember feeling this badly once before in my life. At the age of 18, I decided that I just HAD to be independent because that is the type of person I am. I got a job, moved out on my own and hit the ground running.

What I didn’t know is that life was HARD. I lived in an efficiency apartment that cost me $100/month in rent. I was making about $93 a week in wages.  Finances became an issue when I ended up in the hospital for an appendectomy.  My love life was a mess. And I was not handling the adult-ING thing very well at all.

At some point, that storm became so dark that I figured the world would be a lot better off without me in it. I took every bottle out of the cupboards that I could find, sat down and took them all and just waited.

Only by the grace of God was my life spared that day. My mother called me and as we were talking, she could tell something was very wrong. I kept insisting that I was fine, but she wasn’t buying it. She called my uncle, and he and his wife came to my apartment. All I remember is walking down the street with them at my sides, trying to get me to sober up. They had no idea what was wrong with me.

Then next thing I remember is waking up in the ICU a day or two later. My throat was killing me and I had nasty remnants of black charcoal all over the inside of my mouth.

That day, God chose to spare my life.  It took me several years to realize what he did for me that day. It took me several years to realize who He is; who I am.

Finding the truth about who you are won’t make the world you live in storm-free. But it WILL give you a Lighthouse to follow through EVERY storm that comes along. You just have to look for it and keep your focus on it.

Right Here Right Now

This storm is going to pass for me. And your storm will pass for you. If you can’t see the lighthouse, I encourage you to open your heart.  You DON’T have to clean up your act to find God. You DON’T have to give up whatever vices you may be clinging to, to find God. It is about having a RELATION with Him, not having RELIGION! Right where you are, right now, you can cry out to Him and be completely transparent with Him about how you feel. Tell Him right now, right where you are, that you want to know who He is. Tell Him that you want to have a relationship with Him. You will be amazed at how bright that light will shine.

If you have decided today is the day you will start a relationship with Him, I encourage you to tell someone close to you. You’re never too old, too young, or too lost and it is never too late.

 

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