Category Archives: Relationships

COMEDY OF ERRORS

Theater masks

My youngest daughter has just finished her first year at college. She and her boyfriend love to spend time at the gym and hang out with friends afterward. Unfortunately, due to his work schedule, they don’t usually get to the gym until after nine o’clock at night. Being a mom, it is difficult for me to fall asleep before she is home. I do usually manage somehow, to get some z’s before she gets home. She is very respectful and TRIES to remember to text me and keep me posted.

One night recently, however, did not go so smoothly. I had friends over and we talking about blogging, faith, and life in general. It was a great evening. When my husband and I went to bed that night, he asked me where our daughter was, which surprised me because I thought she was home. I texted her to ask where she was. After an hour with no reply, I texted again.

I was getting a little impatient. It as now 1:09 AM, so I sent her the “mom’s frustrated” text. This is the one where I type each letter of their name as a separate tet and finish it off with at least one text consisting of only an exclamation point.

I finally came out to the living room to look out to see if her car was here. Nope. I called and texted her boyfriend and when he finally answered, he said that she was not with him. He said it was strange that she wasn’t home because she had been home when she was texting him before they both fell asleep last night.

Epiphany

Then it hit me. I opened the door and actually stepped outside to look for her car. Just beyond the spot she normally parks was her car. Her usual spot had been occupied by our friends’ car early when she got home from work.

After apologizing profusely to her boyfriend for waking him up, we were able to laugh about the mishap.

When I got up and read these texts it is pretty easy to giggle. 😉

Worry

I don’t panic often, and worry very infrequently. This wasn’t always the case. When I was younger I would constantly let my mind dwell on the “what if’s”. I focused on my trust of people and my fear for their safety.

In hind sight, I find my worry almost as comical as the situation described above. One of my favorite Bible verses asks the question (and I am paraphrasing here), “Really Amy? Exactly how many times has your worrying had any impact on ANYTHING? Except maybe the addition of that wonderful ulcer you had back in your twenties!” OK, so maybe that was more than just paraphrasing. You can read the ACTUAL verse that brought that thought to mind at the bottom of this post. See if you can guess which one it was. 😉

What was even more comical? I believed I could keep my loved ones safe As IF! If I couldn’t be with them, worrying was the next best thing. Right?

Maybe it is totally possible for someone without faith in the Savior that I have found, and who now dwells deep in the core of my being, to concur worry and fear. However, it is impossible for me to understand how.

I think maybe the situation that happened that night with my daughter was God reminding me that worry is fruitless.

Thank you, Jesus, for reminding me to keep my eyes on you. Thank you for being my Savior and giving me peace of mind, and allowing me to trust that you and only you hold the future in your hands. That even through the trials and life-altering situations in life, you have a much better future planned than I could even imagine.

Bible Verses Addressing Worry

Obtained from Biblegateway.com

Matthew 6:27 New International Version (NIV)

27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Matthew 6:25-34 New International Version (NIV)

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Controversy Within

Suffering in Ignorance

For all of my adult life, I have dealt with the frustrating effects of ADHD. Most depressing of all was that I didn’t KNOW I had ADHD until I was over 40 years old.

I have tried so hard to do my best and failed for as long as I can remember. Disorganization and forgetfulness was frustrating to those around me. They thought I was lazy. I was having a really difficult time trying to decide weather they were right, or if there was a reason that I couldn’t change it, no matter how hard I tried.

Epiphany

A situation that could have easily cause our house to burn down opened my eyes to the realization that this wasn’t just disorganization, forgetfulness, and down-right laziness as I really was beginning to believed. Standing in the kitchen cooking dinner, I heard my toddler in the bathroom calling out to me because he needed my help. I walked into the bathroom/laundry room to help my little guy out and the next thing I knew, I was folding laundry that had just finished drying, dinner long forgotten. The realization of what had happened cause a complete meltdown. I couldn’t take it any more. I was trying so hard and and still, I was failing those I loved the most.

Time for Action

I started doing research, starting with the book Driven to Driven to Distraction (Revised): Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder.

I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Was this guy reading my mind? Almost everything he said described me to a tee.

I visited my doctor and for many years, I was on non-narcotic prescription drugs for ADHD. Organization was still an issue, as did focus. Life became more manageable, however, and my stress level went down significantly.

Sometimes Surviving is Not Enough

Recently, I had a major career change. I loved this new job. However, I quickly discovered that the prescription I was on was not doing enough. The demands of a corporate job required more focus than the medication was providing. I felt like I was drowning. And my new manager (Let’s call her Kathy) was working with the assumption that I had a normal brain. Ha! So was I, for that matter. I began to worried the relationship was going to be difficult and challenging.

New Information

During a conversation with a friend who also suffers with ADHD, she told me that she was taking a time-released prescription amphetamine. I began doing more research. I read some information online, watched some documentaries, and talked it over with my husband.

After much internal turmoil over the issue, and having weighed the pro’s and cons, I went back to my doctor. With her advisement I decided it was time to try this avenue with the hope that it would allow me to be productive to my fullest potential at the new job.

A Coach Makes All the Difference

My doctor started me off with the smallest dose and gradually increased it over the next new months. I decided it was time to sit down and have a discussion with Kathy. I told her everything; about the ADHD, my struggles with keeping my head above water, and the decision my doctor and I had made.

That was all it took. This amazing woman started working with me to find a system that would help me in staying organized and keeping track of things. She has been very instrumental in helping me. I appreciate her immensely.

For the first time, I felt like a fog had lifted; one that I had never know existed! I believe the drug was the second important component in changing my life. The first, and most effective was an incredible person that God brought into my life.

I have seen it stated repeatedly that having a life coach is very important to the success of someone with ADD or ADHD. If you truly love someone with ADHD, there is a way you can help. I am not telling you to enable them. This is not an excuse to justify their issues. They have to genuinely WANT to change. In my case, I did want to change. I just didn’t know where to find a coach.

Natural is Always Better

I want to make it clear; my hope is to stop taking all prescription drugs at some point. If you are just starting your journey (for yourself or with someone you love), I hope you are able to start with a natural course of treatment and find a good coach. I really believe a great coach (Thank you, Kathy. Your an angel!) is the most crucial piece of the puzzle.

Consult your doctor. Make an educated decision that’s best for you. Don’t try to figure this out alone and suffer in silence. I hope you find success. I pray for an end to your frustration. Its time to reach out and let someone help.

Those that were close to me were often unable to help. They were too close to the situation. Frustration, anger, impatience, and resentment will have no place in the coaching process. There are many books and resources out there for coaches. I am sure that Google and Amazon have a lot to offer on the subject. 🙂

Lord,

Please be with your dear child who is reading this blog post. Open the doors and give them the tools that they need to find the peace and support that they need.

In Jesus Name,
Amen