Category Archives: Relationships

Reflections

A Wake-up Call

This morning in one of our team meetings, a co-worker shared the importance of reflecting on your day and taking the time to evaluate your experiences. It really got me thinking about how distracted I am by the end of the day and how many times I walk out the door without something I should be remembering to take with me.

As my co-worker was speaking, I started reflecting on the previous day.  He said to think of one thing that made me feel the most like myself. The moment that brought out the best in me and got me excited about my day. This was more profound for me that my co-worker probably realized.

The highlight of the previous day for me happened the first thing in the morning:

A child came into the school looking a little down. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he felt like he was being bullied. When I asked him to elaborate, he said that he had told some of the kids in his class that he was possibly going to be going to a different school. The other kids didn't believe him and started laughing.
I told him that no matter where he went to school, there will be kids that will say hurtful things. He had to focus on who God says he is and not to worry about what the other kids think.
We talked for a few minutes and he seemed to respond well to our conversation. I walked away feeling really good that I work at a private school where I can freely share my faith and not worry about losing my job.

If I had taken the time to reflect on my day and had remembered that moment, my energy would have returned to equip me to face the second half of my day.

It is amazing to me how influential our brains are in our mood and our outlook on life. Knowing this, do we usually choose to focus on the uplifting events of our day, or the other events that drag us down? Human nature causes most of us to focus on the negative and often not even remember the positive.

What if we actually did take the time at the end of our work day to reflect on all of the events of the day and make a conscious choice to focus on those things that made us feel good about ourselves; the things we got right, the people who blessed us in some way, even if it was something small? What difference could that make to our personal lives, our marriages, our relationship with our kids?

I personally plan to put this theory to the test. Will you join me? 😉

 

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Perspective


How much easier would life be if we all took the time to look at every situation we find ourselves in from a different perspective. Our human nature causes us to have single dimensional vision when it comes to life’s struggles.

Scenario 1

A stay-at-home mom with three children ages two, three, and eight has been home with the kids all day.  It is a hot summer day, there is no air conditioning, and the humidity is high. One child is sick, another has decided it would be a really good day to test Mom’s patience, and the eight year old is sulking because Mom said she couldn’t have her friends over today.

Dad comes home, throws his keys on the shelf, plops on the couch and turns the TV on. Apparently he doesn’t notice the frazzled look on his wife’s face and the disheveled state that the house is in.

Chances are Mom is not going to be in a good mood. Dad asks what they are having for dinner, and she immediately blows a gasket. Dad looks up, defensive, wondering what her problem is. Sound Familiar?

I started writing this post on my way to a marriage retreat with my husband this weekend. Amazingly enough, as I now sit down to finish it, I have even more to share, because the content of the material we covered at the retreat was exactly this topic. An illustration similar to the on above was given:

Scenario 2

The husband was a pastor. He was late for dinner because he had been counseling a family in major crisis and consequently prevented a death. The wife was upset when he called because the dinner she had spent hours making for him was cold, and she felt hurt because he hadn’t called sooner.

In relationships, so many times we look at many situations with preconceived notions and assumptions based on past experience. In this latter example, the explosion started before the facts were even known. But even when we have all of the facts, how hard is it for us to look beyond our own hurt and think about what hurt may be felt on the other side of the dispute.

This obviously is going to cause problems. If both parties in any situation are only looking at things from their own perspective and don’t even try to see things from the other side of the dispute, it leaves very little room for resolution.

Is it possible that if we ALL took the time to look at things from other peoples perspective or consider that we may not have all the facts yet, the number of times we felt truly angry with those we love would be reduced exponentially?

Challenge: For the next week, let’s try really hard to take the time to consider these things before we react to any conflicts. It will be interesting to see if our blood pressure drops at all. Who knows? It may be beneficial in more ways than we can count.