Tag Archives: Coping

Focus: Intentional Thinking

focusWhat exactly is focus? According to dictionary.com, focus (v) is to direct one’s attention or efforts. To me, that means intentional thinking. I’ll give you an example. How many times have you walked past something in your house and had the fleeting thought that it needed to be picked up, thrown away or otherwise dealt with?

Well, for me it happens all the time. I think, “As soon as I am done with “this” (whatever I am doing at that moment), I will take care of “that” (whatever needs to be picked up, thrown away, or otherwise dealt with). The problem comes when finishing “this”, makes “that”, completely flee from my mind.

True story: I was very mindful that I had an appointment that I need to leave for the second I finish work. I was even thinking about it the moment the clock struck “Time to Leave”. But if someone asked me for help with something at the last moment. SQUIRREL! I immediately started helping them. At the moment I got out to my car, I remembered the appointment. Glancing at the clock, I realized that I could not possibly make it to the appointment in the two minutes I had to make a 20 minute trip.

This was actually the second or third time I had forgotten this appointment. The first three times I met with this person were no problem. It was summer break and I was not working for two months. As soon as school started up, I was unable to make the next appointment no matter what I did.

I called and apologized and told them I would not schedule another appointment. I just didn’t trust myself to not do it again next time.

Lesson learned. No more appointments of any kind for the first few weeks, maybe even months of the school year until I can get back into the routine.

I am just now starting to understand that I have got to take the time to start recognizing the WHY’s of what I struggle with so I can fix them.  If you struggle with things like this on a regular basis, start to look at the situations and understand WHY they happen; what triggers them. Then you can start to prevent them from happening again.

And don’t forget to apologize. I know you don’t do it on purpose. I don’t do it on purpose. The person you have offended may even know that you don’t do it on purpose. But that doesn’t make it any less frustrating for them. And an apology will go a long way in mending damaged relationships.